Twin Parents

There are two different kinds of twin parents. You may think that I am referring to natural vs. IVF, or same gender vs. mixed, or even c-section vs. vaginal birth but it is much simpler than that. I am talking about those who dress their kids alike vs. those who do not. Yes, I said it, the elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about in front of us but is more than happy to address behind our backs. To be honest, I have been party to a few more of these conversations then I would have liked to have been because being the “twin mom” the singleton parents always have me weigh in.

Now, to be fair I have to disclose a few things. First, growing up I always wanted a twin or at least a sister closer to my own age (my sisters are 6 and 8 years older than me) so I would try to get my friends and cousins to dress like me and say we were twins. Second, I grew up as the baby of 3 girls and was always being compared to my sisters and was always trying to set myself apart from them. Thirdly, in my 3 years as a twin mommy my girls have had matching clothes, coordinating clothes, and non matching and non coordinating clothes.

So, now that my little discloser is done let me ask you something, do you stand at preschool drop off/pick-up discussing the clothing practices of the singleton kids’ parents? Do you question a singleton parent’s theory of dressing their child in 100% hand-me-downs from an older sibling because they will not create their own identity? I am guessing many of you responded no to each of those questions. You might be thinking “who would say that?” Well, more than likely you have about a twin parent.

Why is it that on holidays and special events it is alright to dress your children of varying ages in matching gear but no ok for someone to do it on a regular basis? Seems a little odd don’t you think?

Now, those who know me know that my girls match once in a blue moon and 9 times out of 10 are not coordinating either. Why? Because that is what I like. I want them to be their own people and give others a fighting chance to telling them apart. Guess what, twin parents who match their kids want them to be their own people too. In the end, maybe these parents are just better at understanding that the clothes don’t make the person then the rest of us are!

To be fair, matching you kids does make telling them apart tricky for outsiders like teachers and friends. I know my girls’ pre-school teacher appreciates that when I sign them in each day that I right down who has on what to help her out. I figure she has 13 other kids to worry about as well and any help with my two knuckle heads couldn’t be bad. On this point though lets also be honest that those who want to figure out how to tell your kids apart will try and put forth the best effort regardless of if they match or not.

So, I am not saying one way is right or better. How anyone dresses their child is a personal choice. So, the next time you think you are looking into the psyche of a twin parent by what clothes they put on their kids take a moment to step back and think about how you would feel if the pick-up line was talking about what you put your kid in each day.

Leave the twin moms alone. We went through hard pregnancies, double middle of the night feedings, heck double all the hard parenting moments so let us dress our kids however we want!