Body Image - FB Backlash and the truth that I hate my body.

Skinny, fat, plus size, average, curvy, skinny fat. Body image, body dysmorphic disorder, eating disorders. Yes, I know these are all hot tops and buzz words. Things people only like to talk to about with people like minded to themselves. Topics that make you point fingers, hide, and hate. Today my FB news feed featured a story about a non-airbrushed plus size model…..the comments from people was that she was not plus size enough, too skinny. Modeling standards are determined by the industry, not society. Why could these people have not supported this women instead of putting her down? A few weeks ago the story was about a women who was once a fitness competitor and was not happy so she stopped working out like crazy, ended her limited diet and has embraced her “true body”. Her comments were a mix of again she is not big enough and others relating to her and embracing her. Where do I fit within all of this…..and more importantly how to I raise and inspire my own girls?

Well, here is the truth. I have always hated my body. Media had nothing to do. See, I have a tall skinny mother who has never worked out a day in her life. When I hit puberty at age 10 it was quickly noticed I would not look like my mother. You can’t fight genetics and I spent my years wishing that I could. I also grew up in tights and leotards standing in front of mirrors in dance class. Everything was out there in the open from day one…when I got boobs, as my hips grew, if I gained a few pounds. There was no hiding anything, I could see it and so could everyone else as we compared ourselves to each other. I was too curvy for some pieces, too short for others, too chesty, not tone enough in the middle. I heard them all and it categorized what kind of dancer I could be at the studio I danced at…..keep in mind this was all by age 14. I made it out ok, no eating disorders to speak of other then being an emotional eater.

As an adult my body issues never really stopped. I thought that skinny jeans would be the death of me and my big thighs but I learned to embrace the look over time. I have hit my heaviest weight while being pregnant with twins and my lowest while suffering from hyperthyroidism and graves disease. Nothing is worse than hearing how great you look to find out your body is sick and your health is in danger.

After that I have tried to focus on healthy, not food fad following or obsessive gym time. Just healthy. It is not easy even as an adult to find the balance. The most important thing is that I have to do what is right for me and not judge others or use them as my excuse not to try. God gave me this body and I must care for it. I hate my tights and my butt but I also must remember those parts of my body have carried me through my life never hating me. They have taken me to wonderful places, helped me stand, dance, carry my children. They are a gift and I should treat them as such. I try to work out 3-5 times a week for me. It makes me feel better and gives me energy. I try to be mindful of what I eat but refuse to completely deny myself things I love to eat.

I don’t have the answers or the perfect body by any terms but I have found peace with myself and hope to instill that same idea in my girls. So the next time someone post a photo try not to spread the hate. No one is too skinny, too fat, or god forbid not plus size enough. We come in all shapes and sizes and need to support those people for being brave enough to be proud of who they are. Let’s focus on our individual health and the health of others. Maybe people should be posting their BMI, lung capacity, or cholesterol levels on FB instead of photos. I bet most people don’t even know what theirs are.