No 6 Month Follow-up Needed Thank You

This is my daughter Kendal.

She is my little elf with a heartwarming laugh. She has bright eyes and big dimples just like I do. She takes after me in another way too, but I will come to that in a moment.

Over the past 24 hours I have found myself hugging her more, giving her extra kisses, and telling her I love her and that she is beautiful. I know many parents have been doing the same recently with their own children due to the recent devastating loses that occurred in CT last week. I cannot express enough how I am at a loss of words when it comes to that tragedy, but my extra hugs are not caused by it.

In my life I have learned that you never know when it might be your plane that goes down, your car the meets the drunk driver, your school that becomes a target, your house, your job, your….  I cannot live my life in fear of things because while they are all horrible and can have a drastic permanent effect on your life you just never know. I choose to worry about the things you see coming and seem non important but really impact you.

This brings me to yesterday when the girls had their very first visit with the dentist. While going over the findings with me she wanted to talk about Kendal’s jaw alignment. Now, I knew going in that her teeth would be a little off due to the thumb sucking habit she had just kicked so while I knew what was coming I could not have foreseen where it all went.

The Dentist explained that it had caused damage and that she recommended we begin treating Kendal’s mouth with an appliance to stretch her mouth and reshape the bones in the roof. Now, I had an appliance to do this very same thing when I was in high school and got braces. It was VERY painful and impaired my speech. In short, it sucked. I asked if the issue unaddressed would impair chewing, tooth development etc to see if it was really needed. She replied that it would cause her face to be more off set.

I knew what she was referring to and explained that since birth Kendal’s head had been offset a little but that the doctors all assured me time and time again that it is minor and was causing no issues. As soon as she got long hair you could no longer notice the bump in the back and the only way to really see it is if you look closely at her eyes, check bones, and ears.

The dentist then had Kendal stand by her and told me to look at her face. She then told me that only symmetrical faces are ideal and that if the issue was not addressed she could like this (as she made a face that looked like a stroke victims) as she got older. I was shocked. How do you have me look at my beautiful little girl standing by a complete stranger and say those words out loud and in front of her? I am only happy that Kendal had no idea what was going on.

Those are things that worry me, the things people say that can cause harm for the rest of her life. How many other people will point this out to her? How will she handle it? I know this may all seem silly but I worry because I know that I did not handle it well. My face is off set too, and I have always been self-conscious about it because of what other people said. I have a “butt” chin that I hate, a big neck, uneven ears, dark body hair, short toes, big thighs, and at one time teeth that “look like a hockey players”. All of these were courtesy of others and each one took a big hit to my self esteem that I still carry with me today.

So, as far as Kendal’s jaw is concerned I am getting a second opinion. But as far making my 6 month follow-up cleaning with the dentist, not a chance. I cannot protect my girls from everything but I can control not returning to a dentist who treated her that way.

I beg everyone to watch what they say because it can have a lasting effect. I can tell you the name of each person who pointed about the above list of things to me. What we say makes a difference and I know I too need to be more aware of the things I say as well.

So kiss and hug your little ones today for all of the ways that to others they are not perfect, but to you are.