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The World Is Still Out There

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I am sure there is some story, novel, or movie about a person (or animal I guess too) that grows up in isolation not realizing that there is a whole other world out there. A real world, with real things, and other people. Well, I am pretty sure I am currently living that life, scratch that, I know I am. A few days ago the girls and I ventured out of the house, via car, for the first time in weeks, yes plural weeks. What was the reason for our outing? Trip to get take out? Nope. Trip to do something fun? Nope. It was to get allergy shots because it was a necessity. Those are the rules right necessity. As we passed by closed businesses I would enjoy visiting, food places I would love to dine IN, and the drive thru Starbucks (who had a line, I kind you not, 25 cars long) I realized the world is still out there. Other people do still exist other then the now familiar faces we pass daily on our sidewalks as we move farther apart to create space as we pass each other. This other world is...
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A Fresh Coat of Wait

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On Tuesday my husband was told he would be on call from home for 2 weeks. When I found out I went to Home Depot to get paint and supplies. Him being home equaled the start of a project, painting our master bathroom. A project I was planning on taking on this summer, but hey we have time now so why wait. Sunday night the bathroom revamp was over, we sat on the coach to watch a movie and it hit me.....a complete chest restricting panic attack. Now what? What next? I sat with all the thoughts, all the feelings, all the emotions, in all the silence as the movie played on. Today I woke up realizing that the bathroom might be done (other then décor because I can't make a Hobby Lobby run) but that what I have now is a fresh coat of wait. Waiting not knowing any of the answers. Waiting not knowing when life will start to look more normal again. Waiting not knowing how much more things might change before they get better. Wait is what we have. And none of us know, none of us have the an...
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Super Mom vs Anxiety Mom

March 10th, 2020 - I figure out with a little added effort we could pay off our home mortgage in 8 years. Update life spread sheet. March 11th, 2020 - Look into trail ideas for National Parks Trip this summer. Update trip spread sheet. March 13th, 2020 - Realization that I don't have a spread sheet for any of the changes about to happen. Flood of emotions. Deep breaths. Panic. When I said yesterday that I didn't have a plan and it scared me I was being 100% honest. People often see me as "super mom" who is organized and on it. But in truth, that is just high functioning anxiety. Having a plan helps me manage my triggers. I know what to plan for, what will be needed, what my responsibilities are etc. It is a dizzying way to live daily life but it is how I cope. The first time I made a "life" spread sheet I was 18. It didn't go past age 24, because really after 24 what is left but old age LOL, but I had a plan. Now, in my planning I am not rigge...
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Location: Woodbridge, VA 22191, USA
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It Has Been A Long Time

It has been a long time since I came to this space to share. Now, like many people, I have time to return and a reason to reflect. We are in a time of so many unknowns. 30 days ago I did not know the term social distancing. 30 days ago I was preparing for trips, vacations, school programs, dance competitions ……. life. And now I have time. I have Team Whitaker (what I started calling my little family a while back) and I have my own daily experiences through this new normal that I will share. I don't have the answers and for the first time in my life I don't even have a plan and that scares the crap out of me. So more to follow but first- Your kids are a gift, do not complain about having to spend time with them. It is not funny or cute. Being on lock down with your partner is not like honeymoon, we all get it. Not having your norm is hard but feel blessed to have someone to share it with.  Stop sharing things on social media that we can all see in the news for ourselves. C...
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Body Image - FB Backlash and the truth that I hate my body.

Skinny, fat, plus size, average, curvy, skinny fat. Body image, body dysmorphic disorder, eating disorders. Yes, I know these are all hot tops and buzz words. Things people only like to talk to about with people like minded to themselves. Topics that make you point fingers, hide, and hate. Today my FB news feed featured a story about a non-airbrushed plus size model…..the comments from people was that she was not plus size enough, too skinny. Modeling standards are determined by the industry, not society. Why could these people have not supported this women instead of putting her down? A few weeks ago the story was about a women who was once a fitness competitor and was not happy so she stopped working out like crazy, ended her limited diet and has embraced her “true body”. Her comments were a mix of again she is not big enough and others relating to her and embracing her. Where do I fit within all of this…..and more importantly how to I raise and inspire my own girls? Well, her...
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Learning to Ride the Bike of Life

When I graduated college I went to work for the same company my father worked for. It was a large national company so, while living on two different sides of the US, I hardly ever ran into my father but I often ran into other employees he had worked with. These employees all had comments about how hard it was to work with and for my father and wondered what it was like to grow up with him. As they told their Joe Cipolla work stories I just smiled and said “It was just like that, but I was used to it.” You see, my father is not what you would call a warm and fuzzy guy. He does not soften or sweeten you up before telling you how it is. If you have a report card with 5 A’s and 1 B, he asks about the B and how you can improve it. He does not just give you credit for showing up, he wants you to take responsibility for your actions. Now, he also does not yell, like ever. He simply explains how disappointed in you he is which has an even bigger impact then yelling. Growing up in this...
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That Twin Thing

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People often ask me about the twin bond the girls have. Now, most of these questions center around them feeling each other’s emotions like a sixth sense or if they have developed their own language. Really! They can hardly wipe their own butt after going to the bathroom and you think they are developing their own language or a powerful extra twin sense? So, based on this line of questioning it is really simple to say “no” smile and go along my way. Now to be honest my girls have bonded with each other, as sisters, and have shared almost every life experience with each other out side of a few ER or Urgent Care visits. They spend all day, every day together and are simply best friends. I often wonder when this bond and sister love will vanish and they will simply want time alone or time with their “own” friends. I know the day will come…….it has to…….they are girls after all. But, until then I love that they have a friend to play with who just happens to like the same exact things...
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