Meltdowns of a Mommy

Let me begin by saying “I hate guns”. It is a personal thing and not a political stand. When I am around guns I break into a cold sweat and feel very uneasy. If it were not for my husband’s job I would be hard pressed to ever let a gun into my home. I want to be clear that what I am about to say is not from the “right” or the “left” of the topic it is from the ….well….the uterus. What I mean is not matter what your beliefs are about gun control/laws as a parent you have to look at things from a different point of view. As a parent you have to set a good example and make choices that you feel will keep your family safe. I don’t have the time to look into the numbers of kids who injury themselves with a gun they find within their own home or a home of a friend, but I can say that even 1 injury is too many. How does this happen? Poor choices by the gun owner. A few years ago as a gift my husband got me a gun handling class at a local range and while I learned everything I never ...

I have been thinking about social media and blogging a lot lately. I have been trying to figure out how I really feel about it all. When I first thought about starting a blog I was going to do it under a pen name or anonymously because in truth I wanted to bash people and say anything I wanted without having any consequences. Shallow and hurtful, I know. After thinking more about it I realized two things; 1 there is already enough hate in the world that I do not need to add to it and 2 I am a grown adult who needs to be responsible for what I say regardless of the good or bad that might come from it. So, here I am being honest and standing behind what I write. I do comment on other people I come across within my mommy world and I explain how I see the scenario. Could this hurt the other people, of course but I do try to be respectful in relaying my side of the story. Then there is face book. I told my husband the other day that if he were not my husband (because you know I have ...

In the climate of the world we live in today all parents worry about what kind of self-esteem and value of self-worth their little girls will grow up and have. I am in that group of parents. I know that my girls will encounter mean kids who judge them on their looks, clothes, interest, and well everything under the sun because that is what we do, kids and adults alike. Do I think that as society girls get over criticized and over sexualized at too young of an age, yes. But, do I think this is anything new, no. As a young girl I wanted to be like Madonna or Sandy from Grease. Neither seem like a wise choice in retrospect but I turned out just fine, I think….   Could the issue here really be the hypersensitive way in which the adults of today parent or more importantly judge the parenting of others? Today was the last day of Princess Camp for my girls. They had a great time wearing their princess gear to camp each day and learning about different kinds of princesses, dragons, ...

It can be really hard when you are the parent of just an average kid, or in my case two average kids. I am surrounded by mommies of above average and super smart kids on a regular basis it seems and I can’t help but feel like I should already be setting aside money for the tutors my girls will need for the rest of their lives. I wonder if the organic approach to learning that I have taken is actually setting us behind. See I have a theory that the girls will learn all things as they are needed as they naturally occur in life. Sounds very granola I know but I am not a pintrest flashcard or work book mommy. I am a” this is real life” mommy. The result of this is that we are 3 ½ years old and can only identify about 5 letters correctly, we can say our numbers but counting actual items goes badly after 4. In short I feel we are a little behind our friends. When I have those moments of feeling really left out as others are talking about their kids discussing advanced theories of calc...

Before I became a mommy I remember traveling for work and watching an episode of Real House Wives of New York and seeing these women go crazy about what preschool their kid was going to go to. In my DINK life I laughed at how dumb these women looked and sounded. I kept thinking it is just preschool…preschool….and how does she chase around kids in those heels? Fast forward to my current life as a stay at home mom and I HATE preschool and still do not see how some mommies do it in heels. Now please do not misunderstand, I LOVE the preschool my girls attend. Why do I love it? It is easy, it is a good fit for me, and my girls. I can have face time with the teachers at drop off or pick-up every day, I can look through the window in the door prior to pick-up to see what my little ladies are up to, I get a printout everyday so I can talk with the girls about what they did, I know the other moms and kids in the class thanks to drop off and pick-up, the teachers are wonderful, the rooms ...

Every few months I like to look back at photos of the girls from the last year to see how much they have changed. It’s so fun to see the difference that a year can make; from non-walkers to runners or from little beans to little girls. While doing this the other day I wondered for a moment what I was like this time last year and it all came rushing back to me like a long lost memory. See, last year things were hard for me. Things at home were stressful because my husband was going through some personal stuff which left me feeling the pressure of being the perfect wife and mommy while pretending that everything was great with a long term house guest around as well. Outside of my house things were not much better as I was having a really hard time figuring out where I fit in the world of stay at home mommies. With all this going on I decided the best course of action was to put on a happy face and not only pretend that everything was fine but act like I was living a perfect life ful...

Those who know me well know that I often avoid conversations about religion and know that my life and the choices I make should not be used as anyone’s moral compass. Despite these facts I am drawn to talk of both today. Brace yourself. Today is Ash Wednesday. To be honest the first time I received ashes was in 2006 even though I have been a Catholic my whole life. My relationship with the church is one that I would categorizes as on again, off again my whole life so please do not think that I am getting on an “I am more devout” then you rant. Ash Wednesday marks the being of Lent and the preparation for Easter, and to be honest my face book news feed marks it as well. This morning I was flooded with people sharing what they are giving up for Lent. The running list is looking a little like sweets, soda, caffeine, coffee, meat, fast food, extra flavor in my star bucks coffee….and on and on. So, when did Lent become a new diet trend? How much of a sacrifice is it really in these? I ...

Over the past few weeks I have been reflecting a great deal about this Christmas. This was the first real Christmas in our house with Santa and I have been wondering how it went. I have been thinking a great deal about the gifts the girls received and if they were on target or over board. Then I stopped being “Mommy” for a moment and actual considered the gift I was given by my husband. I then realized that I had been so wrapped up in seeing everything from the girls’ point of view that I completely missed how wonderful and perfect Jason’s gift to me was. Anyone who knows my husband and I know that we are very different from each other. When we first meet he was everything I never wanted and everything I really needed all in one. I was nothing like the usual girls he found interest in as well but somehow we connected. I joke that his world is “black and white” and mine is “grey”. We very rarely see eye to eye on current events, politics, and religion… you name it and we probably d...

There are two different kinds of twin parents. You may think that I am referring to natural vs. IVF, or same gender vs. mixed, or even c-section vs. vaginal birth but it is much simpler than that. I am talking about those who dress their kids alike vs. those who do not. Yes, I said it, the elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about in front of us but is more than happy to address behind our backs. To be honest, I have been party to a few more of these conversations then I would have liked to have been because being the “twin mom” the singleton parents always have me weigh in. Now, to be fair I have to disclose a few things. First, growing up I always wanted a twin or at least a sister closer to my own age (my sisters are 6 and 8 years older than me) so I would try to get my friends and cousins to dress like me and say we were twins. Second, I grew up as the baby of 3 girls and was always being compared to my sisters and was always trying to set myself apart from them. Thir...