Meltdowns of a Mommy

This is my daughter Kendal. She is my little elf with a heartwarming laugh. She has bright eyes and big dimples just like I do. She takes after me in another way too, but I will come to that in a moment. Over the past 24 hours I have found myself hugging her more, giving her extra kisses, and telling her I love her and that she is beautiful. I know many parents have been doing the same recently with their own children due to the recent devastating loses that occurred in CT last week. I cannot express enough how I am at a loss of words when it comes to that tragedy, but my extra hugs are not caused by it. In my life I have learned that you never know when it might be your plane that goes down, your car the meets the drunk driver, your school that becomes a target, your house, your job, your….   I cannot live my life in fear of things because while they are all horrible and can have a drastic permanent effect on your life you just never know. I choose to worry about the t...

The most interesting thing about parenting is that there are so many different ways to approach it. Different methods, ideas, standards and when you find the place that is just right you make your parenting home there and are on your way. Sounds like bliss right? It is nice until you meet others from different camps and there is judging on both sides because each person has their own views on the topic.   This is to be expected and as parents you just go with the flow. But, what happens when you don’t see eye to eye with your partner on parenting? What happens when the standards at home are not the same? Well, I have known that my husband and I see things differently from each other and parenting is no exception of that. While I do the reading and research he tends to follow my lead on a lot on things but on occasion he acts outside of his ranks and does it his own way. Understanding that my way might not always be the best either I come at these times with an open mind and let ...

Finding myself within “The most wonderful time of the year” with toddlers is hard. While countless people over spend on themselves and loved ones in the spirit of giving and consumerism I wanted to find a balance. This is the first year my girls will be receiving gifts from Santa (the big guy and I had an agreement – until the girls understood the situation there was no reason for him to add us to his delivery schedule) and receiving a gift from us. Don’t get me wrong I love Christmas time and the decorations but growing up it was always about being together not the over load of gifts. I think each year my sisters and I got one main gift and then needs like socks, new pants, underwear etc. Believe it or not, I was happy and content. So that brings me to this year when the girls understand the receiving part of Christmas but are lacking on the giving ideas. I have talked a great deal with them about helping others, giving to those less fortunate and they love putting money in the bel...

Prior to having kids I vowed that if I had girls they would never be princess girls. You know the type, the ones enchanted by fairy tales of princesses, princes, and happily ever afters. I wanted my kids to have a realistic view of life and if girls be strong independent females. Well, as luck would have it, I have two princess girls. It was so easy for them to want the dresses, love the stories, and dream of princes. For a long time I let it get to me that I was allowing them to play in this world that is far from reality. I wanted to instill in them that a guy on a horse was never going to come along and save the day. That the world is not perfect and some time the prince is really just a jerk. Then it hit me, I was not against Disney, the stories, or the dresses. I was just already trying to toughen them up for their first heart break, the first time someone will think less of them because they are female and truth that not all endings are happy but that they all make you stronge...

Having two older sisters growing up I cried a great deal about things not being fair. From my view things were never fair but I was a kid and didn’t know any better. It was my parents place to know best on matters of what was fair. As an adult and parent myself now it is my place to decide what is fair for my girls and it can be tricky. I have seen it many times recently, parents too busy keeping things fair between their kids. While as a society we complain about the “everybody gets a trophy” mentality many of us are doing just that in our own homes. Need an example of what I am talking about? The non potty training sibling getting treats and prizes too but they are not doing the work, the other sibling getting gifts on birthdays so they are not left out, everyone having the same bedtime, the child who does not eat enough dinner still getting dessert. You see where I am going now don’t you. The times when we as parents just give in to what is easier than facing the truth with our k...

People are always putting down today’s youth. The claims are that they have no direction, think only of themselves, and think they are above the rules. I remember sitting in high school and college and getting all fired up when the media would make the same claims of my own generation. When I would talk to my parents about it they would simply ask if I really thought that my whole generation had the same drive that I did. They were right, I was above the norm, but all in all I think we turned out just fine as a group. So what about today’s youth, will they turn out just fine? How knows only future will tell but the real question we should be asking is why. Why do they have no direction, think only of themselves and think they are above the rules? I saw a possible answer to this question today while I was at the mall. Yes the mall, the suburbs place to send off their youth with mommy and daddy’s credit card in hand. But it was not in the halls by Hollister and Abercrombie that I fo...

About 10 years ago I stopped loading the dishwasher at my parent’s house. While yes I am completely capable of putting things in the dishwasher and I know it drives my parents crazy when I just stack my things in the sink or on the counter I had to take a stand. I know it sounds silly but you have to understand while I love my mother dearly no one and I mean no one can load the dishwasher to her liking.   After years or her coming behind and rearranging everything I had loaded or complaining about things not fitting correctly I gave up. Sorry mommy, the truth is out. I love you but will not live under your dishwasher ternary any longer. While my mother is currently fuming and getting mad at me the rest of you might be wondering what this has to do with father’s day. Well, a lot. Our children are our dishwashers and our husbands are just trying to help out. I have been on both sides of the “my husband can’t do: the laundry right, buckle the kids in right, give the kids bath rig...

Captain’s log June 2012: While I am happy to report that potty training has be deemed a success it saddens me to note that it was not because of my keen leadership skills but because of the girls (with their father) mutinous over throwing of my plans. Here is how it all went down: After returning from a weekend camping trip in which potty training was still in full swing and the girls learned the harsh fact that in nature there is no potty to flush but instead trees that get watered with the contents of their little potties the girls made a stand. I was told “diapers for babies, we go nigh night in our big girl panties”. I froze in shock and fear. While yes they had remained dry during nap and night for over a week in diapers I still enjoyed the safety net, and so did the washing machine. My husband was on board and said “ok” before I could say anything. And we pushed forward diaper free at nap and night and I have to be honest I have only cleaned the sheets 1 time since the last ...

So, we have been in potty training mode over here for one full week. I am not going to sit here and say the girls are potty trained because they aren’t, but we are working on it. I have one kiddo who went over 48 hours without an accident and stayed dry during naps and night time. Yeah me! Oh wait, until today at the playground when she ran up and said “change me I have poop”. At that moment I was happy to be using pull ups while out. Those pull ups also helped when kiddo number two had to poop at that same playground this afternoon and couldn’t get to the potty in time because some random stranger kid would not leave me alone and get off of our travel potty. I guess this is just her first lesson of others getting in the way of your succeeding and my first lesson to learn to say “I know your mommy is too busy on her I-phone to play with you but I do not want to be your friend”. We have a number of trips to the public potties while out, 8 in one visit to Taco Bell, 5 at the rec cen...

Before having kids I was “that” person. The one who would judge moms and their kids when I was out. The running dialog in my head went a little like this; “wow she looks bad, can’t you get your kid to sit down, is anyone watching this kid, can you get your kid out of my way, really do you need to take up the whole aisle, can you get your kid to be quite …”. Yep, “that” person who judges what they don’t know and always said “When I have kids they will never …” and here enters karma. I have seen the looks that others have given me as I have walked through stores with a child in questionable behavior, a bow in my hair that I forgot I put there as a joke a few hours before and most likely either food on my clothes or my favorite a sticker on my butt that the girls either put there or I sat on. Yes judge away, I deserve it for all the times I did the same but understand that as soon as you transition from a cat person to a mommy karma is going to get you as well. I have learned to take...

“I go pee pee on Mommy’s deck, I have accident, my panties not dry”. This is the statement I heard chanted over and over this afternoon after our one and only accident. She had told me she needed to go potty 5 times already and sat there for 2-3 minutes each time and then said she was done. I guess the 6 th time just did her in. The good part of this was with a bucket of water all was clean and I know the concept of using the potty and staying dry is sinking in. All in all we had one “hit” and one “miss” today because I have learned that my girls can hold it all day! They woke up wet this morning and wet after nap but they have perfected the art of holding it. Now when they learn how to let it go we will be in business. The other thing I heard every hour today was “I hear timer, I dry, I get special treat”. I guess they have figured out that reward system seeing as their potty charts have not gotten enough stickers yet for a dollar store prize. All in all though we are moving f...

So, after my last post I did a great deal of mommy soul searching. I realized that I was so stuck on making potty training work that I didn’t really set out a plan of how I was going to make it work. I just knew what I had read, advice I had gotten from others, and what baby center was telling me but didn’t know where I stood. To be honest I think I avoided taking a stand on how I was going to do because I didn’t want to deal with the back lash of others who maybe don’t see it my way (flash back to the “what do you mean you’re not going to breast feed drama from a few years ago). So love it or leave here is my plan – I am going to focus on staying dry and using the potty the hours the girls are awake. Nap and night will come later when days are going well. When we leave the house we will use pull ups (go ahead and judge) but I can’t even wrap my head around the embarrassment I would have leaving a puddle in target, Costco, the mall, etc. The girls get a sticker on their chart for go...

I have spent the last 12 hours on high alert – rushing kids to the potty, watching for signs, cleaning the floors and I am exhausted. You might wonder what the fruits of these labors were and the daily record stands at 4 successful potty uses and 8 accidents. These girls amaze me! They must have logged at least 2 hours on the potty today. They would sit there for up to 20 minutes and nothing. Shockingly enough they both stayed dry during nap and I will take cleaning the floors over cleaning the bed any day! While we are not potty trained after Day 1 I did have some important take aways from the day. 1.        DO NOT wear long pants when potty training your kids. When the pee hits the floor it come at you like the “Blob” and will get you wet as well. 2.        If you think poop in a diaper smells bad just wait until you smell it in a waterless mini potty after your kid has been sitting on it awhile telling you she is stil...

Today is Potty Day Last night as the girls were going to sleep they were repeating the mantra I have been saying for days, “tomorrow we wear big girl panties… we poop and pee in the potty…we get sticker for our chart” and I was filled with hope. I then realized that they will also call for “Toddles” with Mickey Mouse not truly understanding what they are doing but just following along. In short, I am raising lemmings and followers. These issues will have to wait for another day though, because today is potty day. As the girls slept soundly last night not really understand what the morning would bring I was up most of the night thinking about it all. Gather all towels and old burp cloths, hide all dress up clothes, if we go outside what shoes are best, and so on and so on. To try to calm my mind I realized I need to have a goal in mind so that I could gage if the day was a success. I decided that the day is a success if we do not run out of clean dry underwear without doing laund...

A Tale of Two Potties It was the best of times, it was the worst of time...it is time to start potty training my girls.   I have to be honest, I LOVE DIAPERS! I love the freedom that diapers give you when you have a toddler. I can run errands all day, have a play date, or go on an outing and not have to worry about where the closest bathroom is (and how clean it is) or look for signs that my kids might be on the verge of an accident. I even love diaper butt in leggings. Now, you may wonder why a mommy who loves diapers so much and whose kids are not yet 2 ½ years old would take on potty training if there is no rush. The answer to this question is easy, mommy per pressure. It seems like every time I turn my head another one of the girls’ friends is making the transition to big kid underwear and I don’t want the girls to be left behind. Scratch that, I don’t want to be left behind as all of my mommy friends get their potty training merit badge. So, that brings us to our curr...

So, this is me as a mommy. A title I always knew I could have but one I never thought that I would get. I always said that kids smell funny and were a lot of work. Well, I was not wrong they do smell (currently mine smell like pee and wet animal crackers) and this is the hardest job I have ever had. I think motherhood is harder them my past jobs because I care about this one. If I fail, gulp, or get fired, I can't just find something new or move on. To get my title I gave birth to two wonderful needy things at the same time. Yes, I am a lucky mommy of twins who are now almost 2 1/2 years old. Having twins is hard work, not because there are two of them and only one of you, but because people always stop you and ask you one of the following - * Are they twins? * Are they identical? Always followed up by "Are you sure" * Do twins run in your family? * Is IVF hard? (yes, some people think that is the only way people get twins) * How do you tell them apart? These q...